Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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