he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
