I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It was a blind-side dick pic.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
its liver damage thursday
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
