ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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