NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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