was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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