Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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