Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
