This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm both gender and math confused
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
