I seem to have left my pride at pride
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
