i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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