Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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