Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
