ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
