Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
