Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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