i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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