if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
