Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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