I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
