He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
