Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
