If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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