I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
