After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
