I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
