This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
