hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
