You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
