forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
