When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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