standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
