This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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