i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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