Its about making memories worth repressing
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
