i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
