Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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