I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
