why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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