quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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