4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You need a sexual gate keeper
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
