I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
