How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
