My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
