And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
