Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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