Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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