The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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