I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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