Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
