So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Randomize
