You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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