Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
