Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
